I try very hard to set good examples. We talk about politics at dinner. We talk about feelings when someone is upset. When I came home pissed about an employee who was giving me grief and sass, and saying that I was going to start grooming his replacement in case he couldn't get his act together, Charlie turned to the kids and said, "This is what happens when you're disrespectful in the real world, at a real job. Someone starts looking for a respectful person to replace you." He said that mostly to E who has turned her hate for running in gym class into a civil rights cause (maybe we talk too much about politics at dinner?). She hates running, but does very well during the skating, zumba, flag football and volleyball sections of P.E. Her P.E. teacher is at his wit's end and so are we. She gets in trouble in gym for refusing to run, or for getting bad "times" on her mile run almost bi-weekly. During our last conversation, she said that she thinks it's not fair to separate kids into "groups based on physical abilities" and "it's discrimination to give kids bad grades for not being able to run". I swear to God, she said that. I felt really good about myself because my head didn't explode. I said, " E, you are not obese, or disabled in any way. You just don't want to run because it's hard for you. You're great at math, but other people in your class aren't good at math. Is it fair for you to get good grades while they get bad grades? It's the same principle". I thought that was pretty good parenting, but she didn't seem moved.
As is becoming the pattern in my blog, I feel that I have to give examples of me not being an irresponsible, sailor mouthed parent so that social services won't be called on me for the events I will inevitably share in the second half of my blog.
I am guilty of enjoying reality TV. More specifically, I am guilty of enjoying Jersey Shore on MTV. I feel bad about it and am in no way proud of it, so please save the lectures. It started innocently enough. When Charlie and I were getting up every 2 hours to feed new babies, we would turn on the TV and watch so we didn't fall asleep and drop said babies on their heads. Unfortunately, late night programing is a little spotty, and not being in the market for...well, anything sold on late night TV and having seen every single episode of Law and Order (the only show you can find on at least one channel no matter what time it is, day or night), we opted for MTV and JS. We would watch 25 minute increments every couple of hours. Soon we were recording new episodes to catch up on the drunken escapades of Snooki, J-Wow, Sammi, Deena, Vinnie, Pauly, Mike, and Ronnie. We didn't talk about it, and neither of us wanted to suggest we watch it. We would have a conversation kind of like this:
Me: Want to watch some TV?
Charlie: Sure. What's on?
Me (pretending to look): *sigh* Not much. We have that new Jersey Shore recorded.
Charlie: *also sighing* I guess we could watch that.
Me: Might as well.
Then we would watch gleefully as drunk 20-somethings in tacky clothes acted like drunk 20-somethings who didn't know they were wearing tacky clothes.
All of this would have gone on happily if I had not walked in to the family room to find E watching JS. She said all the kids in her grade love it. Having acted as an irresponsible parent and allowed the JS into my home, I now felt I needed to do the responsible parent thing and watch JS with E, using the show as a teaching opportunity (ruining the fun of it) with (constant, annoying) grown-up observations. When Charlie and I watch Deena and Snooki teeter around during a 2 day bender in super high heels, a leopard print fedora and what amounts to a belted t-shirt, I might say something like, "Holy shit! Those girls are fucked up...they might want to spend that MTV money on some rehabs! Also, who told her to wear that on her head?" (I KNOW cursing is also not mature but, in addition to JS, I do get a kick out of the f-word when the kids who can talk aren't around) When I watch the same episode with E, my comments are more along the compassionate, not judging, but sad and concerned vein. I might say, "Oh my, they're really drunk. You know, they are going to be really sad and embarrassed when they watch this. Poor things could really use some professional help. You know, when it comes to drinking, which is something people over 21 do, two drinks are really too many."
Watching with Charlie while Mike attempts to coerce some poor drunk girl into his bed, I might shout at the TV, "Kick him in the balls and run away!! EW!! He's GROSS!!"
Watching with E, I would comment,"You know, that qualifies as sexual assault. .....He obviously hates women..... I feel sorry for anyone who dates him because he really only sees women as sexual objects and that is just disgusting. *sigh* People like that never have true intimacy or fulfilling relationships...and that is just sad. Also, if you choose to drink as an adult, I think this program makes it clear that 2 drinks are really too many."
