What Happened Last Saturday

There are days when I wouldn't question someone coming into my home and saying, "You're not doing such a great job with this parenting thing and we've got some very nice people who we think can do it better". I would just nod and hand over the babies. Last Saturday was one of those days. Let me start by saying, I am a perpetually tired, working mom and like most moms, I love nap time. Nap time is sacred. If you want us to hang out with you, we have to schedule hanging out time around nap time. If you want us to volunteer somewhere, volunteering has to be scheduled around nap time. Great new restaurant you want us to try? Not during nap time. No sir. Without naps, babies turn into horrible, angry, exceptionally unreasonable monsters. In addition, through some kind of twisted joke of nature, if babies don't nap during the day, they don't sleep as well at night. Finally, and most importantly, nap time is the time when I can get some cleaning, relaxing, and eating done. Some days, it is the ONLY time I can do those things. When we went from two naps a day to one nap a day, I was very very sad. Very sad. I have recovered from that sadness, but it was a long hard journey to acceptance. Anyway, last Saturday's nap was a good one. The babies slept for a solid 2 hours and so I got the bathroom cleaned and a short nap for myself. Charlie and I woke up to hear little voices babbling on the monitor and we went in to collect our angels from their cribs so we could all sing and play together for the rest of the day. Walking into the babies' room to get them out of bed is normally an almost high-inducing experience. They are so sweet and cuddly and happy to see you and sleepy. It's so great that Charlie and I have a rule that, if we are both home, we always go in together to get the babies. On this particular day, we were greeted by the smell of poop. Both babies were standing in their cribs, facing each other and smiling. When I approached Olivia's crib and noticed she was holding something. That something turned out to be a handful of poop that she had dug out of the back of her pants. "OLIVIA!" I said. Her eyes went wide and she immediately dropped the handful of poop into her bed . Across the room, Isaac was clutching the slats of his crib. "Oh shit!" He said, "Fuck!" I still maintain he heard those words from the bad kids at day care.