Being a parent has made me wonder about the kind of messages media and the products we buy sends to our kids. Before I was a parent, I thought parents overreacted to violent images and sexuality on TV (to be honest, I also thought there should be a "no kids allowed" policy at least a couple of days a week at places like the Shedd Aquarium and the St. Louis Zoo, so I might've been a bit misguided..). As I look around our world, I am quickly changing my mind. Even though it's a new millennium and the media is quick to scream about HOW FAR women have come, I can't help but be discouraged by the products that are offered to little girls.
JC Penny recently recalled t-shirts that said things like, "I'm too pretty to do math" and "Future Trophy Wife" and "I'm too pretty to do my homework so my brother has to do it for me". Wha...? That doesn't even make sense! I have also noticed that there is a disproportionate amount of products out there for girls that say, "Diva" or, "high maintenance". I can not imagine a world where my son would have a sign on his bedroom door that said, "I'm a narcissist and total pain in the ass..isn't that cute?" I think the message to girls is, "If you're pretty enough, you don't have to have a good personality, or be very inellligent or kind or brave (for the record- stripping doesn't count as "brave")....seriously, don't worry about it, just work on the pretty/sexual thing and everything else will fall into place". Along with that is the message that a girl can be fulfilled by pretty things, probably purchased by rich boyfriends/husbands, that good naturedly tolerate childish behavior because of said beauty/sexual behavior. Personally, I think thats bullshit. I don't want my daughter acting "sexy" or like a "princess" at 4 or 11 or 13. I want her doing her homework and learning to be a good citizen and community member. I want her developing her talents and falling off of her bike.
I don't just worry about the girls in this equation. I want my sons to want to have realationships with women who are smart and funny and interesting and genuine. I don't want them to think women like being treated like sex objects with insatiable drives to collect shiny things. Teen-aged boys already think about sex and want an attractive mate. We don't have to teach or encourage that. Teen-aged girls already want to be pretty and find an attractive mate. We don't have to teach or encourage that. Kids are already egocentric, so we really don't need to encourage that either.
Let's encourage our kids to do something that isn't so easy. Let's encourage them to explore thier worlds, to learn everything they can about subjects that interest them, to talk to each other and disagree respectfully, to stand up and say, "that's not right!"- when something is wrong. Then, maybe, some day as an adult, one of those kids will be in charge of buying clothes to be sold at a major department store. If we have done our job, when someone shows her/him a t-shirt that devalues some segment of our population, and he/she will say, "Sorry, no, that's not the message we're looking to send".
Amen to that!
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